What makes a good marriage?

 

Well the ingredients are quite simple. Now, simple does not mean easy. Anything that is worth anything requires work. Let’s start with something we all have heard in a wedding…the wedding vows, you know, that one phrase, "till death do us part" which is a solemn, traditional vow in wedding ceremonies, signifying that the marriage commitment lasts from the wedding day until one spouse passes away. The phrasing comes from traditional Christian vows, notably the 1662 Anglican Book of Common Prayer, which originally used "till death us do part". So, entering into marriage with the that mindset that we are in this for life, come hell or high water, makes for a sure foundation. When marriage is entered into with the escape clause that says, well, this isn’t working so divorce is an option that makes for some serious cracks in the foundation to begin with.

Another ingredient starts at the very beginning and that is in the dating. In the dating phase that is where you want to ground your relationship in the Lord Jesus Christ. What does that look like in practice: Praying together. Studying the Scriptures together. Fellowshipping with other believers. Taking vows together before God to remain sexually pure until marriage. Learning to communicate with each other. What does that look like. Well, first in means listening to each other, really listening. It means thinking hard before you let words fly out of your mouth. 

I like this ingredient in a marriage and this is laughter. laugh together and laugh a lot. Laugh at some of the crazy things life throws at you. You know Solomon tells us that there is a time to laugh. I think laughter and humor can go a long way to make a relationship strong.  

WISDOM

 

 

We can learn so much from the wisdom of the elderly who have traveled through the mazes of life. Wisdom is learned through hard times and good times. When I visit my father-in-law at the Independent living home and I chat with many of the elderly folks there the one repeat I hear is their memories. Wisdom would tell us to build and develop good memories as we go through the chapters of life. We ( I now at the age of 67 can be included in that group) and we  have bags full of wisdom to share with others who are much younger like we were at one time.

Think back if you had the wisdom that you have now what you would have done or done differently when you were a teen or young adult.  I think of Proverbs 8:11” for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.” Wisdom screams for our attention, but alas, at times we plug our ears and go on to do our own thing. 

I think common sense and wisdom are related. My dad had tons of that old school common sense. I can still hear him saying, son, if you make your bed, you’ll have to lie in it. I can hear that old school common sense coming from my dad when he said, the birds of a feather flock together. This advice reminds me of Proverbs 12:26 “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” How about Proverbs 13:20” Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”    

We become what we are in my respects by the decisions that we made or did’t make throughout our lives. Here’s an example: Negative thinking is a choice, right? We may not control our emotions but we can control how we think. There are many verses in the Scriptures where God tells us how to think. Philippians 4:8 is one of my favorite. In this verse the Apostle Paul says: “Whatsoever things are TRUE, HONEST, JUST, PURE, LOVELY, and GOOD REPORT, think on these things”

Note: Following wisdom’s voice and good ole common sense does not mean we sit around the camp fire and sing Kumbaya. Life is hard and there are many trials, pains and hardships. Following wisdom is having a fear of God, Proverbs 9:10 tells us, “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” My friends that is where wisdom starts to fear God and that fear is holding God in awe. It means, understanding who God is and that is He is holy and just.