What is Adulthood?
This is the last section in our book "Changes That Heal." It is rather interesting when one considers that somewhere along the developmental line we became adults, or we should have become adults. That is the question that Dr. Cloud answers in the last section of his book---What is adulthood? The nature of the problem! and what happens when we fail to grow up?
How many people do you know that are really little children, okay some are teenagers, in a big persons body? We are all born children under adult authority, and over time we become the authorities, and we take charge of our own lives, free and independent of those that were our authorities.
Dr. Cloud notes that, "becoming an adult is the process of moving out of a one-up/one -down relationship and into a peer relationship with other adults."
Again Cloud notes, " Adults who have not yet become "big people" feel one-down to their contemporaries, or they defensively take the position of being one-up on everyone else."
This issue has to do with authority and moving out from under the authority of your parents. At the heart of this issue is the family structure, for if parents (moms and dads) are enablers and never let their children fail and suffer the consequences of their actions they will inevitably create small children in big peoples bodies.
If parents parent passively then their children will never gain a sense of personal power and this can lead to all kinds of problems as the child grows into adulthood. If a parent does not teach a child how to "stand," how to be strong, and how to live independently the negative consequences will last a lifetime
Remember, our job as parents is to prepare our children for the real world. We as parents are to help our children reach adulthood---now that might be kinda hard if we as parents have not come into mature adulthood ourselves. God's plan for the home and the Church is that they reach full maturity---that they come into the fulness of the image of Christ.
SO OUR LAST POST
will deal with learning ways to become mature adults.